Hermitage, Wat and Some Druids by Howard of Warwick

Author:Howard of Warwick
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: crime, comedy, historical, humour, mystery and detective, funny book, historical detective, cozy crime
Publisher: Howard of Warwick

Caput XVIII

Happy Times Ahead?

For a creature of very little substance, Lypolix led the party through the woods as if brushing them aside. The group’s own personal druid now took second place, and from the outside this must look like a very strange parade indeed. Not that there was room for anyone on the outside.

Lypolix had taken some time to place them all in what he considered the right order. The right order for what, did not bear thinking about. It was pretty clear that there wasn’t a sensible thought in the old man’s head.

Hermitage had to follow the druid, and Wat and Cwen followed him. Next came John, who did not take kindly to be given orders by a cross between a cast-off druid’s robe and a hedge.

The stragglers were at the back, obviously, and the robbers and pilgrims came in front of them. That just left More.

If anyone had been paying attention, they might have quite looked forward to a conversation between Lypolix and More.

‘Aha,’ Lypolix skipped and danced, ‘and who might you be?’

‘More,’ said More.

‘And who might you be, my pretty fellow?’’

Clearly mad.

‘That’s me name.’ More sounded very proud of this.

‘Well, well, master That. I can see you are of our number.’

‘Eh?’ It took a lot to confuse More, mainly because he spent most of his time confusing other people.

‘You shall have a stone, and it shall be named That. Down the ages people will visit and say “look at That stone.”’

‘No, not That. No one would be called That. That’d be stupid. I’m More.’

‘More than That eh? You have another names? This is mysterious and I must think upon it.’

More opened his mouth to explain but clearly thought it was a waste of time. Being considered an idiot by More was high praise indeed.

…

The whole party tramped on through the hours, and it became increasingly apparent that they were leaving the civilised world behind. Over hills, following streams, taking herders’ trails and then setting off through the woods again, Hermitage just hoped this Lypolix really did know where they were going.

After one crossing of a stream on stepping stones, every one of which wobbled, the lead straggler appeared at the head of the parade. She ignored Hermitage and made for Wat.

‘We’ve been having a bit of a think,’ she announced.

‘Remarkable,’ Wat replied.

The straggler was hesitant in admitting a misjudgement, ‘And it does seem that there might not actually be an army after all. As such.’

‘No army eh?’ Wat asked, looking around the completely wild countryside, apparently to see if he agreed with her. ‘You know, I think you may be right.’

‘So, erm, we’re going to sort of head off now.’ She waved vaguely back the way they had come. It would take them quite a while to get back into good straggling country.

Lypolix materialised between her and Wat and there was a look in his eyes that wasn’t quite right.

‘Oh, no,’ he wailed, as if casting a magic spell. ‘The stragglers shall not leave. They have stones.’

‘That’s right,’ the straggler spoke loudly and clearly.

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